Patience, Grasshopper

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i.chzbgrThe younger generations might only know of the show “Kung Fu” through youtube videos. It was an off-beat 70’s Western-martial arts TV show about an orphaned Chinese-American Kung Fu expert looking for his half brother in the Old West. Flashbacks to his childhood show his martial arts training and how he came to be known as “Grasshopper”. Whenever he screwed up, his teacher would say to him, “Patience, Grasshopper.”

Patience is a difficult thing to master, and I’ve run across my own limits this week. My makeup is a complete and utter dichotomy that puzzles me no end. How can one person be such a walking contradiction? Split personality? No doubt. The trick is to learn what triggers me to be impatient, and what I can do about it.

This week I’ve been playing an online financial simulator game called Cash Flow. It was developed by Robert Kiyosaki to teach people financial literacy. The goal is to get out of the ‘rat race’ and onto the ‘fast track’. It’s sort of like Monopoly, but more real world. You land on different types of squares and draw cards that give you financial opportunities that you can purchase, or you can be downsized and lose turns.

Patient catWhat I’ve found out is this – I make stupid mistakes when I’ impatient and don’t take the time to really study the situations. In one game, I was so focused on the cash flow of a certain property that I totally missed that the property was overpriced. The result was that I owed the bank more on the loan than the money I was bringing in. The computer feedback was hilarious – a voice from a cartoon rat saying, “What did you do THAT for?”

In personal relationships, I can be patient to my own detriment. The problem with being too patient is that there comes a point with me where I AM DONE. No ifs, ands, or buts. Of course, the problem here is that perhaps I should have walked away much sooner. Live and learn.

The problem is that I have things to accomplish in my life, and I need other people to help me. John Baldoni writes,

Patient leaders are not pacifists per se; they are often activists by nature. They are more like former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher who quipped, “I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.”

Such leaders want to make things happen. And they act for the good of the team. But along the way they have learned that too much action is really inaction. Never mistake activity for productivity. And so it behooves us to slow things down and control what we can control.

That’s what I have to learn – to control what I can and let the rest go. And then be patient until I get my way in the end. In this case, that will be reaching my many goals I’ve set for myself. Still don’t want to be patient, but what choice do I have?

Happy Monday! Oh, and pardon the French, but this is exactly how I feel:

Patience_635f50_2709600-1

 

Music and Wellness

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Music and WellnessIt’s not often that any two of my multiple worlds collide, but I found out this week about a website that smashed the atoms of a couple of them together in a great way. The Pittsburgh Symphony has a website, wellness.pittsburghsymphony.org, which does just that.

As a lifelong musician, I know the benefits of a musical education, as well as the many health benefits of music itself. Driving down the road listening to your favorite tunes full blast? Some soothing music while taking a long, hot bath to relax? Or what about the opposite effect – hearing something awful that you can’t get away from, or maybe you’ve got “You Light Up My Life” stuck in your brain and nothing can get rid of it? (Sorry for that one…)

This program was started in 1999. I guess I was too busy with my own life to notice it. Oddly enough, it had its root in cancer.

The Music and Wellness Program originated in 1999 when PSO violist Penny Brill was diagnosed with breast cancer. In the year following her diagnosis, she began researching ways of using music to reduce her anxiety, lessen the side effects of chemotherapy, and decrease the amount of pain medication needed both during surgery and the recovery following surgery. Penny found that her experiences mirrored those of the clinical researchers investigating the impact of music on sickness, recovery, and overall wellness. She also observed that there were few music therapists in area hospitals and recognized an opportunity for the PSO to positively impact the Pittsburgh community. Since that time, Penny has worked tirelessly to make Music and Wellness an essential part of the work of the PSO.

Since then, it has grown and developed into collaborations with several music therapy programs in the Pittsburgh area.

Through the Music and Wellness Program, the PSO works with music therapists and other healthcare professionals to bring therapeutic, live music to individuals at the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC, the VA Pittsburgh’s H. J. Heinz Campus, and other facilities in the Pittsburgh area and abroad. PSO musicians lead music and wellness sessions for small yet diverse groups of participants that include patients, their families, and healthcare staff. By interacting with participants and performing relevant and meaningful music, PSO musicians help participants meet their physical, emotional, and social needs.

Certainly there are people who don’t believe in this power of music. I know of quite a few people who wouldn’t be caught dead listening to classical music. For those skeptics, I would like to show this video of the effects of music on a vineyard:

So if music can do this to plants, how much more can it affect people? Like Penny, I listened to my favorite music during my cancer treatment to lessen my pain and anxiety. Actually, way back in the 1980’s when I worked in a hospital surgical unit, I suggested to the anesthetists that they have patients undergoing local anesthetic listen to their favorite music, and they found out that the patients were more comfortable. The CRNA’s quit teasing me about listening to the classical music station after that.

I KNOW the power of music, but too many people don’t. If they did, my life would be a lot easier. (And a lot richer…)

Do your own experiment. Try a day without music. Then try listening to different kinds of music to see how you feel. Hip Hop vs. Swing? Country vs. Vivaldi? How do you feel when you are listening to your favorite music? I will bet my bottom dollar that you will feel differently. If you don’t, you aren’t alive. But you have my permission to skip the Pachelbel.

 

Catalytic Conversion…

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CatalystIn chemistry, a catalyst is something that accelerates a chemical reaction without being affected. In human relations, it is a person, thing, or event that causes one to change.

The question is, why do some people heed the call to change and others don’t? Why are some people able to change given only a small amount of prodding, and others need an overwhelming, sometimes life threatening event to realize that their life needs to go down a different path?

According to Dan and Chip Heath, emotions are the catalysts to change, not knowledge. We all know that we need to lose weight, or spend less money, but until there is a real emotional connection, we won’t do it.

ChangeIn my case, I had been wanting to change my career since 1993. I wrote about it in my journal. Why didn’t I do something about it then? Well, I guess I just got used to the paycheck. I had all sorts of excuses – not enough time, not enough money, whatever. Part of me was also worried about what ‘people’ will say. And I’d spent years of my life training for my profession. What I know now is that I must change my life, or it won’t be worth living. Seriously. I know that life is too short to spend it doing something that makes me crazy.

Adam Dachis wrote a wonderful article on why we are afraid of change and what we can do about it. When our brains get wired a certain way, it’s hard to re-wire them. It’s stressful to change. We do everything we can to try to not change. In the end, it doesn’t do us any good. Constant change is one of the only certainties of life, so we had better get used to it. If change is coming, just let yourself freak out about it for awhile, then get on with your life.

pupaeHumans are the only creatures on earth who even think about change. Animals and insects just exist, spending their days just trying to eat and procreate. We, on the other hand, spend our time worrying about what we did wrong yesterday and what will happen tomorrow, which is why way too many of us settle for the well-traveled path instead of going for what we really want. We like the feeling of having control over our lives, but we don’t realize that it’s all an illusion that can be wiped away with one medical diagnosis, one job loss, a serious weather event, or accident.

So please, embrace change. Get out of your comfort zone. Try something, anything, new. Live the life that you want to live, not what others expect of you. If it means dying your hair orange, then just do it. The only person who needs to give you permission is YOU.

Waiting for the Vet

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Cinnamon chillin'.

Cinnamon chillin’.

My cats are 17 years old. Cinnamon and Pepper are sisters from the same litter, but you’d never know it. Pepper is a skinny, long haired, black and white menace. Cinnamon is twice as big, short haired, and calico, sedate but not as sweet as her name implies.

They have been my faithful companions for most of their 17 years of life, and especially when I was sick. I spent most of my summer of chemo either in bed or on the couch, and there was always a cat with me. They KNEW something was’t right with me, and they stuck around as long as I was willing to have them.

They started out as kittens liking each other and playing together, but along the way they developed into ‘hissing cousins’. Maybe it was that they both have such different personalities and physical characteristics, or maybe it was because they were both stuck under my bed, frightened, while a tornado roared over the house. They never were quite the same after that, and that was when they were two years old!

Pepper after her shave

Pepper after her shave

Pepper has been relatively healthy, in spite of the fact that I have to shave her every year. I never could get her used to regular brushing, and she is very quick with the claws and the teeth. Cinnamon, on the other hand, has had one little thing after another. She just didn’t get good genes, I guess.

Back in February, I came home from work one night and Cinnamon was walking like a drunken sailor. A quick call to the vet, some kitty glucosamine, and all was well.  I’ve seen this before with other cats – amazing stuff. But I’m afraid that trick is wearing out. Lately Cinnamon has taken to moaning when she gets up – sort of like we humans grunt as we get older. Perhaps her old bones are reacting to the damp, rainy weather we’ve had all week, who knows.

But I can tell you this. These cats are my family, and I worry about them. Their time is shorter than mine, and I want to do everything possible to make sure they are healthy and happy, because in their own way they have been doing the same for me. A few years ago I switched to a great mobile vet, Jocelyn Allen-Smith, along with her assistant, Pam, who has a very high tolerance for claws and teeth. Pet Bliss has been there for me when I needed them. It certainly makes it easier for the animals when their human owners aren’t all stressed out!

Well, the vet finally got here, and until we get the blood tests back, all we know is that Cinnamon is an old lady with arthritis. If her kidneys are getting worse, I may have to learn how to give her fluids. Oy vey. Giving myself a shot is one thing, but sticking a needle into a cat another thing entirely.

I’ll take it one thing at a time. For now, Cinnamon is resting on the back porch, grooming herself. She seems to be over the trauma of the V.E.T. And Pepper has come out of hiding…

No More Big Ugly Boxes!

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Summer-Day-at-Calvary-CemeteryIt’s a beautiful Monday morning here – cool, sunny, birds singing. Definitely NOT typical summer weather in Nashville! School has begun and the countdown to the end of my summer break has started.

I’ve spent most of my time off going to doctors of various kinds, trying to get my tendonitis-ridden hand back in playing shape for the fall. Over the years I’ve had small problems on and off, but this time was different. Full blown incapacitation. I haven’t done any yard work, gardening, cooking, needlework, or even bicycling, nothing that puts any strain on my hand. (At least I can type with one hand!)

So what does that leave me? Well, I’ve been spending my time getting some new ventures going in the event that my playing days end. One of my businesses has gotten off to a great start. The other one requires quite a bit of education before I can hit the ground running, so I’ve been watching a lot of online classes and doing a lot of reading.

Big Ugly House

Big Ugly East Nashville House

It’s never too late to learn something new. I’m immersing myself in the world of real estate investing! I love houses. I love OLD houses, which is why I was drawn to East Nashville before it was a hipster’s paradise. What I hate is what is happening all over the country – getting rid of small, quaint starter homes and building massive, ugly boxes. If there is anything I personally can do about it, I will.

Part of the initial phase of any business is developing a plan, a focus, and goals. That’s what I’m spending my time doing. My focus is going to be on helping people who are in danger of losing their homes and on trying to save and rehabilitate older properties. Sure, I could make money hand over fist by building ugly boxes, but it would be at the expense of my soul. The banks have had enough profit off of the little guy!

I also want to give back to this wonderful place I’ve been living in since 1998. There is so much need in East Nashville, and I feel strongly that a portion of the money I make must go to make the lives of East Nashvillians better. The exact form this will take is TBD, but it’s part of the plan for sure.

So all the things I’ve learned up to now – all the networking skills, internet skills, blogging, financial stuff – all of it can be incorporated into this business. Even better is that I’ll have mentors to help me, so there is no way I CAN’T be successful. There is a reason I survived stage 4 cancer, and I am driven to leave a lasting mark on the world. My life will not be complete until I know that I have left the world a better place because of my efforts.

So watch out, you big ugly box builders!